Kurapu Kurapu

I won't be able to blog about the weekend until tomorrow :( I am so exhausted from everything!! There seems to be no time in the day anymore.

I wanted to post something before I went to sleep. It's more like my time to vent than talking about events.

No, I am not going to talk badly about Japanese people, but instead I am going to complain about my toilet situation. At first I was overjoyed to know that I had a western style toilet. "Thank you, there is a god," I thought as I peered inside and walked away. - side note: traditional Japanese toilets are squat toilets and you can't exactly relax with a magazine - To give you an idea of the bathroom (or maybe just toilet room is better): it is a closet sized space which includes the western appearing toilet and a small strange sink. I noticed something else that was very strange, a gun looking water sprayer hung next to the toilet. From my experience with the highly technologically advanced toilets in Tokyo, I though maybe it was a bidet. I was so wrong.

So, overwhelmed by my sense of good fortune I missed the horrible smell even though I examined the strange gun. But, I sure noticed it the first time I went into the bathroom. I had to hurry to finish my business and bolt out of there. When I flushed the familiar swirl and rush of water were replaced by the opening of a flap in the bottom of the bowl and a stream of water. Interesting, maybe the toilets flush differently here in Arikawa? No.

My toilet as I have come to realize is just a glorified outhouse attached to my house. The flap separates the septic tank sitting just below my bathroom from the rest of the house. Even though my predecessor told me I had a septic tank bill I didn't think that it would be a flap away from my house.

The most startling aspect of the flap happens to be the sounds it makes: the clap. If you happen to have good aim you can measure your craps in claps. By this I mean, the flap can't hold much weight. What you do hits the flap, the flap opens, flaps back up and makes a clapping noise. The first time this happened I was really surprised and was afraid that something was crawling through the flap. Not so, just my own doing. I am so sorry that I am being so graphic, but I just need to vent about my kurapu kurapu.

Kurapu kurapu you ask? Well sound it out. Ku-ra-pu. Huh, kinda like "crap". But if you were Japanese it would also sound like "clap" - Japanese can't make the /r/ /l/ distinction. Hence: kurapu kurapu. A play on words in Japanese to mean both crap and clap, and since you can measure your craps in claps, this is the new name of my toilet.

Basically I have an outhouse for a toilet, which explains why I can't kill the smell. And don't get my started about the really hot humid days here. No matter how much I try to make it smell like lavender it doesn't work. I have two general air fresheners, and toilet attachment, a freshener to put in the sink, and the spray. Nothing works for more than an hour! It's best just to avoid the bathroom during the lunch hours. In the beginning I blamed the smell on Joe, but now I understand that nothing can be done.

And I figured out the purpose of the spray gun. The bowl doesn't fill up with water after flushing. Adding to this problem, is the fact that the water pressure when flushing doesn't do very much. Every time that you can't aim directly on the flap, the gun assists in removing anything you don't want stinking up your bathroom. So this makes a separate problem. Spraying away unwanted visuals means that you have to be careful. Sprayer beware because you might splash some of what you clean onto your legs. Gross.

I think I would prefer an outhouse to the kurapu kurapu. Venting complete.